Tag: Personal
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An incomplete farewell letter
In the event that I have Coronavirus, and in the less likely event that I die from it, I suppose I had better come up with some fitting last words while I still have the capacity instead of gasping them out in a delirium or making hand gestures while a ventilator keeps my weakened lungs…
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A dream
I had a dream. And in my dream I asked why I couldn’t trust my body. And the answer given was, because it will betray you. Your body is only matter, held together by purpose and information. And it can only be held together for so long. That purpose can only be exerted so far.…
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On one of my life’s great disappointments
If I had to pick one of my absolute greatest disappointments in life, it was realizing that I would never be a great musician. I wanted so much to be a great singer. But by middle school my total loss of my voice and my vocal nodes ended that dream. I felt the music so…
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My girls
For me, the idea that there will come a day when I can’t hug and snuggle and love my girls is almost unbearable to contemplate. I love them more than the whole world. They’re the sun that rises and lifts me each day. They’re the life I live and struggle through and endure. They’re my…
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Two songs
This is the song that makes me feel like I’m a kid again, at home with my mom in our living room, on a peaceful afternoon. All those memories come back, the feeling of safety, of ease, of being cared for, of freedom, of relaxing after a good day, of looking forward to more good…
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Why I react so much to the words and thoughts of others
Excerpted from a personal letter. In my life, people I love bring home things and say things that really concern and disturb and upset me. They arouse dissonance within. Friends, family members. I’m the sort of person who can’t help but have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things. It’s just who I…
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On the appeal of video games
Partly it’s the challenge Partly it’s the fun of exploring fictional world and taking part in them. Partly it’s just the illusion of a productive distraction. When people have leisure they tend to go to exploratory behaviors, testing out new skills and possibilities. Part of it is the illusion of winning and dominance, of being…
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On gratitude during uncertain times
It’s funny to reflect on how shocking it is for us to live through something that used to be so common as to be generally assumed as part of life by humanity. Even things we think of as huge one-time events, like when the plague wiped out half of Europe, weren’t one time events. The…
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On endings and facing death
“Everything ends, and that’s always sad. But everything always begins again, and that’s always happy. Be happy.” When considering death, there’s so much we tell ourselves, and so much we don’t. We see our lives in our stories, and so we tell the story of our lives to understand its ending. If the story was…
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