Or does respecting someone mean fearing them, being willing to compete with them, not crossing them? Does it mean staying out of their affairs or territory, saluting them, learning from them, standing up to them? How should we view someone we respect? As another independent agent, as a potential friend or enemy, as a genuine rival, as a potential asset or concern?

I think if you talk to people, depending on who you talk to, you’ll come away with one or the other of these conceptions of respect. The two definitions seem very much at odds with one another and seem to be pushing in opposite directions. People may seek to treat people “well” or “fairly”, but might mean very siffer bt things in practice depending on which one of these approaches they subscribe to. In fact people who want one kind of treatment are likely to be quite offended at receiving the other. To one person, saying that “you need to respect me” might mean treating them like they’re somebody special. And for someone else showing someone respect could mean treating them just the same as everybody else. It might mean taking special consideration or it might mean making no distinction.

I think another way to view someone as being worthy of respect is to either see them as being worthy of special care and attention and consideration, or, conversely, as someone worthy of and capable of shouldering their own situation and responsibilities. Depending on your bent, you might think that showing someone that someone respect would mean guarding your language around them, seeking not to offend them, showing deference. Or you might think it means being able to speak to someone as an equal, honestly and forthright and without tiptoeing around their feelings.