The stereotypical narrative of idiotic, prejudiced, incompetent, and evil men keeping down the plucky, smart, virtuous, superior girl is wearing just a bit thin. Chess player, detective, and submarine captain are just three examples I’ve seen from the last three weeks. Apart from the repetitive nature of the narratives and the same easy short cut to make you sympathize with the protagonist, who could probably stand up perfectly fine on her own without surrounding her with cardboard villains, I’m not very happy with the reductive and prejudiced idea of men it’s communicating to my girls.

Ms Marple and Tuppence and Harriet Vane and Nancy Drew and others enjoyed plenty of success, as detectives and as popular fictional characters, and didn’t also need to sell themselves as great characters and detectives by adding “Oh, and also, f#$% you, men!” That’s not how you earn someone’s respect or make them like you.

But that’s how so, so many projects are being sold to us. The basic idea today is, revive a beloved property or classic narrative trope, but with a woman, and also, f#$% you, men! I can enjoy the old type of heroines, in fact I absolutely adore Ms Marple and Harriet Vane and always have, and Agatha Christie and Dorothy Sayers are personal heroes of mine and always have been. Not because they’re women, because they’re incredible authors who write great characters. And it’s worth pointing out that their male detectives, Poiriot and Lord Peter, are not actually men in any real, biological sense, but are simply great fictional characters, written by women.

And neither those authors nor myself ever saw sex as any barrier to enjoying either their male or female characters, nor did they present it as such. As if I, as a man, couldn’t accept or enjoy female detectives, or as if I couldn’t enjoy male characters written by women. They put all their effort into incredible writing and characters that easily displayed their own value, instead of needing to gain it as a product of some narrative of sexual opposition and enmity.

Those tactics might work on some women, who get the tasty but shallow flavor of resentment to sweeten the appeal of what are sometimes lazily written characters. But frankly, I give most mature women a bit more credit than that. And with men, it’s just not an effective tactic. Who enjoys a mediocre character with a side of f#$@ you? That’s half your potential audience you’re alienating.

You can’t get people to genuinely love you by guilting them into it. Star Wars and Captain Marvel and Birds of Prey and Ghostbusters seem to take this approach, along with many other properties recently. Using an appeal to your support in the battle of the sexes to try to obligate women into liking a property as some sort of statement or salvo in the war against men. And men are supposed to like it, because if they don’t they’re sexist pigs. So take your deserved slaps and enjoy the remakes and sequels of your own favorite properties and enjoy it. Because these movies are important. They’re not just art or stories, they’re missions in an ideological war. And if you’re not for them then you’re the enemy, you basement-dwelling, pathetic, mysoginist man-child.

And in fact some men do respond in kind. They intuitively recognize that they’re not being offered a story, they’re being offered a criticism of their identity, often in a very overt and personal way. It’s not like they just put this spin on stories that were already focused on and aimed at women, they do it very deliberately to traditionally male-oriented shows and movies. They make an effort to infiltrate and convert men’s media.

And so the males respond out of their identity. They respond with resentment and a “f#$& you too, stay out of my stuff”. Which isn’t very helpful, but is at least understandable. And their criticisms often sting more because the shows and movies fail to capture the same audience as the original, in part because the audience didn’t feel the need to rush to the box office be insulted and criticized, and also because they often aren’t as good. Art that’s foremost a political statement tends to come off a bit shallow and shrill, in part because it relies on the message instead of good stories and characters to demand your support.

There really isn’t any shortage of great female characters that men have loved, and no shortage of male characters written by women that men have loved. But there is a big shortage of all kinds of characters who say “f#$& you, men, and if you don’t like it you’re a pig” that men have loved. It’s just not a great way to get someone to like or respect you. When you have to demand appreciation and respect purely on the basis of guilt, then you’ve already failed to produce it by natural means and are resorting to coercion. That’s something that’s true for both sexes.

The moment you start demanding a distribution of something, it becomes clear that you’re not capable of producing it. And even if you do get a dispensation, it won’t last. Real love, interest, and respect are things you create, you earn, you produce. They’re the fruit of human creativity and productive relationships. You can’t just demand them. You can be given a facsimile, a token, but it won’t last, because it won’t naturally reproduce itself. It has to be continually extracted and demanded. And it won’t satisfy or flower in the long run.

And that’s why so many of these movies and projects will be sadly forgotten. And that’s a shame, because often there’s real talent and value that goes into them, and it’s a largely the writing that falls flat. I’m perfectly happy enjoying the excellent creative products of women. Most men always have been. When they’re genuine, when they earn it, not demand it. Virtually everyone appreciates something truly great that adds value to their lives, regardless of where it came from.

There have been strong and excellent female writers and female characters since the dawn of the creative mediums. But resentment and jealousy don’t create good art. And you can’t get the results and acclaim good art commands simply by demanding that you should have it.