Prepare for some shocking imagery. I believe it to be necessary to really adrress this subject honestly and unblinkingly. The unvarnished reality of it. I know that in some ways I’m violating my own points I made in my entry about Cuties. There are some subjects that you can’t address, can’t represent, without participating in them. Is it possible to discuss the worship of sex, to describe what it has become, what power it has, what its image is, without being almost shockingly provocative and even pornographic? I don’t know.

I don’t think everyone should read this. I think it takes a strong heart and a strong mind to actually look this thing in the face and not be devoured by it. And that’s kind of my point. How can we not be devoured? How can we have it before us and not be consumed? Are we helpless before our new god that we have made? Let us who wish to see join me. As we go on.

I am struggling to understand sex. Sex is so much. Sex is everything. Sex is everywhere. Sex sex sex. We have half the human race made one way and half made the other way, and all of us are the consequences of sex, and many of us are busy dealing with the results of sex, and some of us are using sex, and others of us are seeking sex. It’s all sex. All that for this weird little thing we do. And even among your own half of humanity, you don’t get away from it. It’s increasingly all about sex. There are no safe spaces from sex.

It’s strange how many religions involve or even revolve around sex. Sex is worshipped, sex is symbolic of the sacred, sex is ritualized, sex is the ritual. And today sex still seems to determine religion. One interesting fact I took from the book “Cheap Sex” but need more information on and time to think about is, that given a conflict between existing sexual desires/choices/beliefs and religion, a structure that encompasses an entire system of value and knowledge and practical behavioral guidelines, sex almost always wins.

Sex is the true religion. If it’s a fight between religion and sex, sex changes religion, not religion sex. At least today that’s how it is. Perhaps, in choosing or testing a faith, people choose whatever religion can contain or explain or justify their intuitions about sex. But what drives those intuitions these days? Might the factors that drive our intuitions about sex have been drastically changed by technology and our particular historical situation? Might those factors always have at least some influence? There is an underlying system, and there are also changing conditions. And our intuitions go off both. So how much have our conditions changed, compared to previous ages? And what is the result?

Sex is in our view far more than ever. And its consequences seem the most remote. And even its previously understood uses and function seem almost just as remote now (producing children, facilitating pair bonding). Instead, the pleasure, the promise of sex is at the fore. Especially the promise. Because sex promises an awful lot. More than reality can really fulfill, in many ways. As a man, at least, our desires for ourselves and what we will do to and for our partner often go far beyond the reality. Look at our pornography. Much of it doesn’t even pretend to be based in reality. And I’m not just talking about unreasonably beautiful people or absurd situations, those people really do exist (although it might be very unrealistic to expect them to ever be interested in being with you and me or for those situations to happen to the average person).

Have you seen what women are like? They’re amazing. There are women out there, thousands, maybe millions, who are beautiful beyond belief, and quite a surprising amount of them are willing to take advantage of that fact to earn a little advantage by exploiting it, including by showing it off. But that’s not what I have in mind, referring to porn that isn’t based in reality. Those girls are real, even if their availability isn’t. No, I mean, that according to data, one of the most popular genres for porn is hentai, which is a kind of erotic anime, much of which goes far beyond the boundaries of what is actually possible in real life, much less actual likely human relationships.

I know that as a man sex promises so much. What it says about me and what I could do, what it says I could do to someone, what it says they could do to me, it promises so much, it’s beyond imagining. I’ve seen my actual sexual performance, actual sex I’ve had, even when I’m doing my best. And it’s nothing like what sex promises. It says I could lift a woman up and bang her against a wall and have sex with her for hours and hours and cum rivers ten times in a night while she screams in ecstasy. It tells me that under her clothes she conceals the greatest secrets of the universe, the most glorious and desirable objects. That a wobbling excess of fat here or there is actually the most amazing thing the universe has even conjured and there are things I could do with it that I couldn’t even begin to imagine. In reality you can grab it a bit, kiss it a bit, have sex for a few minutes on average, and suddenly collapse, out of breath and spent after just a little loss of bodily fluids. A bit deflating, but true. Orgasm readers most men quite soft and dazed and helpless, and comes on quite easily.

Why, then, do you think men are willing to risk so much and throw away so much for the chance of just a glance or a touch, much less the sweet, soft reward of penetration? Because sex promises so much! Sometimes I can’t even understand it. You look at the actual thing with calm eyes and you’re like, well, that’s it. There’s really only so much I can do with it, however you dress it up. It’s really pretty normal, and pretty similar at heart between different bodies. It’s flesh. It’s skin. We’ve all got it. And yet it boils my brain.

Not just one thing, it’s the whole thing. What is it that’s so attractive about women? What is it that’s so desirable about pussy (to use the modern term, which has an interesting generality, an abstractness that actually fits the nebulous nature of the thing desired, and that it somehow represents more than what is actually obviously present in the specific bodies of women)?

When a man sees a woman, he is seeing that woman and desiring her. There may be layers to that desire. There may be a relational depth to their affection. There may be history, there may be memories. But there is also the desire. Sexiness. The way that the woman becomes an avatar of something the man desires that is far greater and bigger and more amazing and perfect and important than any actual human could reasonably be. They are sexual attraction. They are the givers of pussy. They bring the gift of the divine abstract that men worship and cannot help but worship and desire madly. It is like how the priestesses of Aphrodite through their individual sexual acts facilitate contact with the divine goddess herself. In a way, that symbolism is true. So many of us experience it and confirm it. That particularly form of worship (not uncommon worldwide) is just an unusually literal and curiously candid expression of that desire and experience. I’m not saying I’m in favor of it, only that it perfectly explicable and representative, given how men feel.

Sometimes, when the fever fades, you wonder, what is the appeal? What is the big deal? Why does so much attach to this? Why not to something else, or why not to nothing at all? Why this madness? And for some people it does attach to something else, sometimes very unusual objects, and sometimes to nothing at all.

What is this underlying power? What is this almost religious fervor that seems to be innate to sex? And is it inescapable? Must all things in life, even religion, bow before and serve as the handmaidens of the innate religion of sex? The worship of Aphrodite? The worship of the bodies of others? And perhaps of our own? How much of it is about that aspect, the worship of our own bodies, the need to be worshipped, to be made divine by that worship, the need to be made immortal by the giving of the seed and the pleasure of the body at conception (or at least the sensation of it, without the reality)?

Does sex require of us worship of ourselves or worship of another? Or perhaps both? Why does pussy seem to be the most amazing, desirable, wonderful, irresistible thing in the whole world? Seriously, it’s a kind of madness. The ancients weren’t wrong about that. Why does the whole shape and movement of a naked woman have the ability to capture me and control me and drive me beyond my senses? Why does it seem like nothing must stand between me and that which I desire, and anything is worth the effort and worth the risk to get it? Why does a woman who would be willing to give me access to pussy, to Aphrodite, to the beauty and enjoyment of naked womanhood, to the pleasure of her body and care, who will take in my gift of semen, why does she suddenly seem like the greatest and most generous and kind and amazing being ever to walk the face of the Earth? Why? For such a thing.

Take out your breasts and thrust forth your nipples, uncover the swollen curves of your ass, expose the silken line of your pussy, wrap your lips around my manhood and let your hair fall behind you as your eyes look up at me. And I will think you are the greatest person who has ever lived, and that no one in life has ever done as much for me as you do in this moment. You are the greatest thing that has ever been, and I would do anything and give anything for it.

The mere fact that that is an almost guaranteed reality, that that reaction is within the power of most women to produce any time they wish to, is absolutely insane. That elevation to near sainthood, or even divinity, is so close and easy for any woman to grasp. If she only desires it. That is an ungodly amount of power.

Of course, about six seconds after you come inside a girl, your senses come back a bit and you can see behind the curtain a little (as well as recognize your own position). And that can be a bit awkward. But right up until that moment, it seems like you’re chasing union with the divine embodiment of the universe itself.

In some ways it seems quite unfair. Even cruel. After all, sex promises a lot but can deliver only so much, and only for so long. And the world is constantly imposing itself. Reality. The chances of actually securing what sex constantly promises and demands are so very low for many of us. And the costs are often so high.

How could such power be contained? How could it be controlled, how overcome? Is there any hope? Once the power of sex has been set loose, is there any hope for us, especially men, to escape it or resist it? What percentage of us could actually stand up to an assault on our restraint? A determined attack. Will we not all be made slaves to its overwhelming power? Will we not sacrifice anything to keep what we have or gain what we do not? Does the modern system seek to make slaves of us by constantly provoking our desire but always keeping its fulfillment unrealized?

There is so much to desire. Would we not seek all and sacrifice everything just for the chance to desire it, to be titillated with that infinite and glorious promise, if not even fulfilled with any reality? Is that the irresistible promise of sex today? Not the promise of an actual homecoming and fulfillment, but the promise of the promise? The visitation of the goddess, the worship of Aphrodite, the desire of pussy itself? Is it an abstraction, or a person, or ourselves? Will we be given more and more ways to find it in ourselves and in the idols and rites, the facsimiles and graven (or encoded) images of pussy? That is the name of our new goddess, the syncretistic goddess of the modern era. Innana, Astarte, Aphrodite, Hathor, Rati, Venus, Pussy.

Being freed from her other duties of divine mother, the upholding of the state, patronage of the hearth, marriage, fertility, and even love, pussy can fully inhabit the role of goddess of lust and pleasure and desire and beauty of the body. She has become a simpler goddess, all her power concentrated into one immense demand for worship, one great rulership over us. Sex. Sex alone. All of the limitations removed. All of your desires presented and pricked, forever.

Her image looms over us with immense breasts that will never feed any hunger but lust, a wide-splayed dripping pussy that will never carry any life but the parade of thrusting cocks and dildos and their overflow of cream pies and squirting and oozing cum, male and female. A red-lipped mouth made lovely for sucking and licking and whispering words of lust. A great, rounded, curving ass, taken also for just this use, for licking and for prodding with toys and for filling with cocks and semen till it brims with white and abused inverted red.

This is the whore of Babylon. No one said she would be neat and prim. But she is inifitely and exquisitely sexual and powerful. How could anything of such unchecked power and abandon be confined? How could you hope to contain such a thing? With all it promises, how could you justify it? It promises everything!

Reliable birth control and pornography are the innovations most responsible for the birth of this goddess. She was born from the bodies of the earlier deities. But media, the new power of her images, has given her cult a reach and a reality undreamed of in previous times. She can be represented to us everywhere, with infinite ease, in ways we could have scarcely dreamed of a few decades ago, at little price. The various cults of her devotees, the rituals and images they treasure of her, are so ubiquitous that you can’t avoid them, and so they have become accepted. Prosperity, medical care (antibiotics and antivirals), no-fault divorce, technology allowing men and women the opportunity to share more spaces, and changes in norms for clothing and behavior have all played their part.

None of these are necessarily bad things, they’re just things that happened, conditions that changed because of technology or history, because of the environment we found ourselves in. Some were part of the normal spectrum of changes that occur from society to society as conditions change. But some were drastic, radical changes that could never have been conceived of before. The internet and advances in medical care and birth control in particular are historically and biologically unprecedented. They allowed us to cut loose things from the goddess that had always been fundamentally entwined and inseparable. We were able to cut sex loose from the things that constrained it and even produced it (and that it has always necessarily itself produced). And in so doing we made it a new kind of thing. A thing that had always been nascent, but never able to survive on its own. And now it is supreme.

Look at our society. We are wealthy enough to survive without spouses, we are healthy enough to be careless without consequences, we are liberal enough to provide sex without relationships, we are controlled enough in our bodies to have sex without fertility, we are far-sighted enough to have access to nudity without people. After five or six decades we’ve gotten used to all those massive restructurings of human sexuality. We’re used to porn, used to sex before and outside marriage, used to birth control, used to STD treatments. We take all that for granted; things that no one has ever been able to take for granted before.

If I want to see a naked woman, I can. If I want to see a very specific kind of woman, or kind of sexual act, I can. For free. Within minutes. If I get an STD, I can get it tested for and treated. If I have sex, I don’t have to worry about pregnancy, or we can end it if by some chance it does occur. If I go on a date, there’s a decent chance I’ll get to have sex with my date that night, and a good chance I’ll get to have sex with them before I ever have to actually enter any formal relationship with them. All of that is just so blatantly true that you can take it for granted. You can take it to the bank. It’s all easy. The work has already been done. All you have to do is embrace that freedom and accept the gifts the world offers.

Some are still reluctant to accept, but most are converted, in secret if not openly. Why deprive yourself? Why resist the goddess and her gifts and promises? Aren’t just her promises better than anything else in your life? And for those who seek and enjoy her gifts, isn’t it a needless and cruel tyranny to try to take them away? Isn’t it terribly backward and retrogressive and a denial of our freedoms? We bought them dearly. They’re a privilege no other society has been able to enjoy. And you want to take that away? This is the birthright of all people born in this age. To serve and to enjoy.

We don’t make love, we sure don’t have “marital relations”, we don’t “lie together as man and woman”, in a way we don’t even engage in mating much (in the old scientific sense). We fuck. We fuck pussies and throats and asses and titties. We double up and triple up and go through one after another after another. We fuck each other and we fuck ourselves. Whether the power of that worship is all promise or all reality, whether it feeds us or merely extrudes us in desire, we are fucked.

Somehow, despite all the power of the promises of pussy, people seem to be getting less satisfied and more afraid. They act like animals being shown food but not fed, or like people fed junk food instead of whole meals. They crave more, but look and feel worse. The promise is there and is more demanding than ever, less restrained than ever, more glorious than ever. But it seems like maybe we’re actually having less sex on the whole, as if relationships are failing more, becoming harder to find. As if men were growing more afraid of women and women more afraid of men. As if the reality and the human intermediaries seem less and less worth the trouble and less able to be our conduits to the goddess. The clearer we see the goddess represented, the less adequate her servants seem.

Where will it all end? What sort of deity have we birthed? What are her demands on us, and what does she give? Can she be resisted or contained and restrained, and should she be? How can the old goddesses of hearth and fertility and pleasure and beauty stand up next to her overwhelming fire and her images blazing before us? What would we not be willing to give up to her sacred flames for the chance to stand in her glory? Family? Fidelity? Fertility? Health, money, wealth, society, humanity? What might she demand? What might she devour? And what will she give us in return?

Men in particular seem to already be given over to acceptance of and devotion to the goddess. They were easy targets. But women are targets too, and are unwitting devotees and participants at least. Pussy shapes their lives as well as those of men, even if they think of it less, or differently. Fucking is what they get in life, because that’s what’s available.

I can’t speak as much to the female experience. But their lives have been drastically altered. In fact the changes, the rise of the goddess, have in many ways been conveyed by them. Their lives and approach to sex as representatives of the old goddesses have changed. They have left their old devotion. They sought the opportunities presented as much as men did. There was a lot to be gained, many responsibilities and dangers they had carried and had to regulate their behavior and the behavior of men to control, that could finally be escaped.

Women are, after all, the primary supporters of the freedoms of opportunity presented by birth control, abortion, and no-fault divorce. They relieve women of consequences and from bearing the responsibility of sub-optimal choices and situations. Women in general are more unlikely to be unhappy with a relationship, more likely to be dissatisfied (despite men being the more notorious wanderers). And they had a greater desire to be free from STDs, since they suffer disproportionately from the long term consequences from them, particularly in regard to infertility (and they already have a much shorter reproductive window than men), and can even pass diseases to their children. Sex is already harder for women in so many ways. Women want more and are more easily harmed and are less easily pleased, and so are more easily displeased. And so, naturally, they embraced options to mitigate those displeasing results.

Men, who often themselves conveyed those negative consequences, weren’t displeased at being relieved of the consequences of their sub-optimal actions. It made it possible for them to have more chances with women, including more sub-optimal ones, encounters which women didn’t need to fear and avoid as much. And so both men and women strengthened the conditions that birthed the goddess. They both were merely pursuing their interests. Men didn’t want pussy locked up and held captive by all these other concerns, and now women didn’t need to keep pussy locked up and tied to all these other concerns of health and hearth and fertility either. Together, they set fucking free, set pussy free, and the new, unencumbered goddess emerged. Freed love.

Maybe it had to happen. Maybe the old religion was so corrupt and laden with failures and problems that couldn’t be negotiated or solved that it simply had to go, had to be swept away. The old order was scoured away for its failures and sins and false promises and dead end traps and collateral damage. Its antiquarian rituals and limitations and its blindness and inflexibility.

And now love is free, and must be. Love does not admit impediments. Or perhaps love does not admit encumbrances. Love has shed its burdens and emerged purified of the encumbrances of history, tradition, law, biology, gender, and even human reality. It is free. So what is it? What beast, its hour come round at last, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born? The vast image of the Spiritus Mundi comes slowly into focus, and we see what this collusion between the sexes has birthed.

I cannot describe it. It stands before me. It is wild and free and beautiful and animalistic. It is ambitious and proud like an advancing mammoth and amorphous and ever-changing. It wants to be and doesn’t know why it is. It is dispassionate and thoughtlessly easy, and it is terrifying and impossible. It is ecstatic and spiritual, and it is hot with heavy breath and the smell of sweat and the stench of bodies’ secrets exposed.

I love it, I desire it. I must have it, and it must have me. I cannot chain it or resist it. This is my duty and fealty. This is everything. It is everywhere. It is our right, and it is our mission. Its promise of paradise is greater than all the treasures the world has to offer. It is Eden, it is utopia; even the hope of it is better than life itself and all the things in it. It is the hope of what is to come. It is the promise of salvation in the eternal bosom of pleasure and fulfillment and the kingdom to come.

When the whole world accepts the goddess, when nothing stands in her way, then the new day will dawn for all of us, and our happiness will no longer be stolen by the tyranny of the old gods. When that day comes, all will know her glory. All will love her. And tremble.