Sometimes I hate being able to see the arguments and mistakes of both sides, because I can see how everyone is making good points and both are also wrong, and both are completely oblivious that they’re making the exact mistakes they accuse the others of. I can see the principles, and they only see the application. And there’s no one to talk to sensibly about it. I can’t even explain it enough to make it clear to anyone. I’m too afraid of both. Both just see you as coming from the other side of them. They see contradiction, not correction. Both are just pulling the rope from one side to another, neither aligns along the axis and actually goes the direction we need to go. They’re like mirrors of one another. And I can’t say anything. They make up arguments to justify their attitudes, they make up terms to use for one another. And they both feel righteous and vindicated, they both praise themselves for having spotted and grown beyond the dreadful mistakes of the other side. They see all thought as a progression toward them. When it is really just the organization of a progressive narrative. None is good, none does right. All are lost. All are without hope. All will build their castle of righteousness that ends in excess and abuse.
And yet somehow all will survive, or most, or some. Many will be hurt, many will be lost. The power of life goes on, and as far as we fall, still we rise again and again. We solve our problems, we perfect ourselves, only by creating new problems, new sins, new ways to degenerate. Because we never solved our problem, only countered it. We never removed the sword, only parried and returned the thrust. We never discovered the good, only found a contradictory kind of sickness to drive out the one we had. And we wonder why the more things change the more they stay the same, the more things improve the worse they get. The more problems we solve, the more problems we discover.
And we tell ourselves it’s because it wasn’t done properly, that it was because the others got in our way and slowed us down and perverted the course of our endeavors. As if removing the others has ever done anything but hasten our descent into our own excesses and abuse. We invent weapons to fight the danger and find that the danger has only increased. And yet still we go one hoping and complaining and blaming. Maybe this time will be better. Maybe if we just get what we wanted this time it will work. Maybe we can finally rout out the dissidents. Maybe this time we can really bring the blame home to those who deserve it.
They do not see. It is not them that are the problem. It is not us that are the solution. It is against the powers, the spirits, the principalities, the principles, the viruses of mind that capture the hearts of men and women. There too, the true good lives, the solution, the meaning of the path behind the different mistakes. What both seek but do not see.
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